Photo: Eva Giles
Julie Wassmer interviews Emma Giles about the loss of her daughter, Eva, and how short stays in a Whitstable caravan offer a much-needed break to other families affected by childhood cancer.
Recently I was invited to launch an initiative set up by library worker Vanessa Cross at Herne Bay Library by which anyone in the community can help themselves to a free warm hat knitted by kind volunteers. The hats are currently displayed on the library’s Christmas tree, which was donated by the local Morrisons store. As part of this initiative, Herne Bay Tesco has given a number of free toiletries which, together with any unclaimed hats, will be sent to the homeless charity, Porchlight, after December 20th.
At the event, I happened to meet Porchlight’s Events Fundraising Manager, Emma Giles, who reminded me that a charity she runs, Eva’s Angels, was one of five nominated by Tesco to receive charity funding from the production company that makes the Whitstable Pearl TV series, because the company uses Tesco’s car park as a base during filming. Emma explained that Eva’s Angels was set up following the death seven years ago of her 5-year old daughter, Eva, from Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma, (DIPG) an inoperable brain stem tumour. The charity aims to help other families affected by childhood cancer by offering welcome breaks in a caravan on our Whitstable coast.
I wanted to find out more from Emma about Eva’s Angels and the ongoing help this important charity needs to continue its work.
Emma, thank you for talking to me. Few of us will be untouched by grief but the loss of a young child must be particularly painful. How did you even begin to cope with this?
In the early days, after Eva’s death, I didn’t think I would be able to. The pain was so physical, all consuming, and so incredibly intense that it took all my energy and strength just to make it through each day. My husband and I had lost Eva but we still had two other children who desperately needed us, aged just 8 and 3 at the time. Witnessing their own sadness, and not knowing how to protect them from that only intensified the heartbreak.
It’s always said that coping with grief takes time.
Yes, but to be honest, the first year after Eva’s death was just a blur in which I swung from feeling numb to intense anger. How could we possibly process that our beautiful, perfect daughter had died in our arms? I felt as though losing Eva had also robbed me of my own identity. Everything had changed – how I saw the world, our family unit, family holidays, how people treated us….everything.
But you still had memories of happier times with Eva. Although poignant, have these been important for you to cling to?
Absolutely. It’s said, “memories last a lifetime”, and during Eva’s illness, as much as we hated the term ‘go away and make memories’ we still cherish the fact that this is what we did as a family; we made beautiful memories. Eva loved going away with us; her mum, dad, brother, and sister. She was always her happiest away from hospitals and doctors and thanks to an amazing network of friends, family and the local community raising funds for Eva when she was fighting, we had some money left over from her treatment fund that we used to buy a brand new six-berth caravan in Whitstable. It’s situated by the beach, at Seaview Holiday Park, just walking distance from Tankerton village and it’s now used to give important breaks to other families faced with childhood cancer.
And you know how important such breaks are.
Yes. Having been through this journey, we appreciate the importance of family support and we understand how utterly exhausting the fight against cancer can become for the whole family. The caravan offers more than just respite breaks because it’s actually a place to connect as a family away from hospitals, doctors and procedures. Childhood cancer affects the whole family and these breaks allow family members to simply enjoy each other’s company and exist in the moment. Our funding goes directly into running the caravan so we can offer families these much-needed breaks by the sea.
How can bookings be made?
Via our website. The caravan is available for 3-night short breaks Friday to Monday, and 4-night breaks from Monday to Friday. Preferred dates can be selected on the website calendar before giving full details and the reason for using our charity. We then send an application form by email for completion. It’s important to note that currently the caravan is not set up for disabled access. We consciously chose an open plan layout to make it easy for small wheelchairs and large buggies. We can provide an entry ramp if needed, but we need details of required access.
I know you are in touch with other charities but how can we as a community help?
We are always in need of funds because apart from offering families these welcome breaks, we also plan to target promising brain tumour research projects to fund as we grow. We work very closely with The Brain Tumour Charity, and Abbie’s Army, to fund promising clinical trials into paediatric brain tumours. As a family we had lots of support from charities, most of which I didn’t know existed until Eva’s diagnosis, and this is what drove us to set up Eva’s Angels. We’ve staged numerous fundraising events which can be read about in the blogs on our website and we welcome ideas for more. Donations are always welcome, no matter how small.
It’s now 7 years since Eva’s passing. How are you and your family managing this journey, Emma?
There is, and always will be, an Eva-shaped hole in our family. Our other two children, Euan now aged 16 and Rosie who is 10, are happy, healthy and thriving, although they have experienced more heartbreak than most families ever will. Personally, I have learnt that happiness and sadness can co-exist. I still have dark days where it feels the waves are suffocating me, and I’m desperately trying to come up for air. But most of the time now I’m treading water…the big waves come less often. I can live a ‘normal’ life now and go to work, exercise, socialise…but I also know that sometimes I have to say no to things because the sadness is too much that day.
Is it possible you have advice for other bereaved parents?
The only advice I could possibly give is ‘be kind to yourself!’ Grief is such an individual journey.
Thank you, Emma, for everything you do at Eva’s Angels and your work for the homeless at Porchlight. Here’s hoping Eva’s Angels goes from strength to strength.
How we can help Eva’s Angels:-
Donations and enquiries about fundraising can be made on this link: https://evasangels.org/fundraising/
Enquiries about bookings can be made on this link: https://evasangels.org/bookings/
Please share this article to raise awareness of Eva’s Angels.
Emma Giles
I’m Emma Giles and I live in Herne Bay, right on the seafront with my family; husband Dean, son Euan, daughter Rosie and our pets Apollo the dog, and Fluffy the cat.
I love being outdoors and keeping fit. Living by the sea really encourages you to get outside in any weather! Our son Euan is a very talented guitar player, and our daughter Rosie a talented football player.
Myself and Dean set up Eva’s Angels in 2018, following the loss of our beautiful daughter Eva to a paediatric brain tumour called DIPG. We continue to run the charity, whilst both working our day jobs too. I am also the Events Fundraising Manager for Porchlight charity, supporting homeless and vulnerable people in Kent
Julie Wassmer
Julie Wassmer is a Whitstable-based author, TV writer and environmental campaigner. She has successfully fought a number of environmental issues, including fracking in Kent and tree clearances by Network Rail.
Her Whitstable Pearl crime novels are now a major TV series, starring Kerry Godliman.
Julie is also a patron of Whitstable’s own literary festival, WhitLit.
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